HERE I AM: your friendly neighborhood flapper con farmhand con boy in need of advice.
Allow me to break it down for you (to the beat of Harlem Shake, not to be confused with Harling Shaking).
Do the modern flapper: long gloves, dark lips, and a Carrie Mathison level of appreciation for jazz and men your mothers wouldn't like (background in terrorism optional but recommended).
Do the Zara-ized farmhand: partially tucked plaid shirt, ripped and cuffed baggy jeans, wise facial expression possibly related to a longstanding knowledge of crop rotation.
Do the boy (deeply) in need of advice: a middle part so purposeful it's as if the forehead of Luke from the O.C. temporarily manifested itself upon your brow line.
Combine and do your worst.