Ladies and gentlemen, the moment has come. I, Harling Ross, have encountered a strange and beautiful, as-yet-unrealized aesthetic option involving my body, my pores, and the internet. Is your curiosity peaked? If not, see a physician. I'm about to blow your mind and if you're not ready, you're not ready.
Late last night when I was debating whether or not to start writing a paper or start season two of House of Cards, I decided to pursue a third option: Farfetch.com. While perusing this website was supposed to be my middle ground between homework and Netflix, it ultimately spawned a somewhat volcanic distraction far more seductive than Frank Underwood's sexy eye bags.
You see, as I nonchalantly clicked through the site's tantalizing contents, I happened across an item that made my hand pause and my heart stop. There it was, floating before me on this serendipitous slice of the interwebs: the J.W. Anderson orange circle print sweater. While normally I wouldn't have thought twice about an article of clothing reminiscent of a Japanese flag with sun damage, there was something about its unusual design that gave me a very distinct case of deja vu.
Suddenly I realized what the sweater reminded me of. I gracefully galloped over to my cosmetics bag and pulled out...
A facial serum. That's right, freaks. The Somme Institute serum I slather over my face twice a day is the beauty product doppelganger of J.W. Anderson's knit creation. For $734.64, I could match my outfit to my skincare regimen like the creepiest creep of all time. There's nothing I've ever wanted more.
For further LOLZ, awkward silences, and tomayto throwing, follow me on twitter and instagram or email me at email@example.com.